Mental Toughness

5 Secrets to Influencing Your Lifestyle


Every day we are inundated with people and circumstances that can mentally tear us down. These people and circumstances might include:

  • A boss who criticizes or micro-manages
  • A co-worker who consistently has a bad attitude
  • A customer who is hard to please
  • A family member who has health issues
  • A complicated financial report
  • A sales presentation that does not go well
  • A computer that crashes
  • Concerns about paying the bills
  • Road construction and traffic jams
  • The lack of a job
  • Trying to please other people
  • Being in an abusive relationship (physical or mental)

“Why haven’t you finished that report?”, “We are over budget.”, “The numbers don’t work for me.”, “My order is late.”, “Your computer will not be ready until Friday.”, “Tammy’s teacher called and he wants to see us.”, “My doctor will give me the tests results today.”, “Unfortunately we have filled the position.”, “Can’t you do anything right.”

All of these, and more, challenge us and cause us frustration, sadness, a negative attitude, and self-doubt. When we start doubting ourselves, many aspects in our lives are affected.

To make faster decisions, respond well to difficult or unusual situations, communicate effectively, think outside the box, and plan accordingly for the unexpected you must be competent, quick-witted, positive, and confident. Because of this, it is important to take steps on a daily basis to counteract doubts and develop mental toughness…get your mind right. Your mindset influences your lifestyle.  Following are five secrets to getting your mind right and developing mental toughness which influences your lifestyle.

Five Secrets

1. Strengthen your self-esteem and confidence: Self-esteem and confidence play big roles in most everything we do in life.

Many people think self-esteem and confidence are interchangeable; however, they are not the same. You can value yourself (self-esteem) but at the same time not believe in your abilities (confidence).

When your self-esteem and confidence are strong you:

  • Think more clearly and quickly
  • Make better decisions
  • Develop a mental toughness to withstand criticism
  • Achieve more
  • Handle change and conflict easier

2. Beat depression: Depression is a large part of why many people suffer from low self-esteem and confidence; therefore, the first thing you must do is determine if depression is a factor for you.

Depression can range from mild to severe. Depression is sneaky and creeps into your life gradually. It can come in disguised as many things. The trouble with depression is that it can be hard for you to detect and other people do not understand what is going on with you.

There are different degrees and causes of depression. Depending on the degree or cause, some people may benefit from prescription medication. It is important that you make an appointment with your doctor and speak to him or her to determine the cause and a course of action.

The most important thing to realize is that you do not need to be embarrassed or ashamed about asking for help. You are not the first person, nor the last, in this position. If you take steps to help yourself, depression is not the end of the world even though it might feel that way.

3. Use affirmations:  Affirmations eliminate negative thoughts and beliefs and push you when achieving goals.

Do you use affirmations? I am willing to bet that you do whether you realize it or not.

Most everything you think and most everything you say, good or bad, is an affirmation; something you believe to be true. What you believe to be true, influences what happens to you.

Your thoughts and dialogue largely contribute to the relationships you have, the decisions you make, and the results you achieve. All of these contribute to your life’s circumstances.

Negative thoughts and dialogue lead to negative results. Positive thoughts and dialogue lead to positive results.

Effective affirmations are short, positive statements that target and replace specific negative thoughts or beliefs. Not only are positive affirmations used to replace negative thoughts or specific limiting beliefs, you can use them to start your day off in the right state of mind or push yourself to the next level when working to achieve goals.
If used correctly, positive affirmations help you get through tough times and create real change in your life!

4. Invest in yourself: The key to investing in yourself is to become a lifelong learner. Read books, attend classes, and more!

Learn everything you possibly can about topics that:

  • Interest you
  • Help you be the person you want to be
  • Help you achieve the things you want to accomplish

The information you learn will get your mind right and improve your interaction with others.

5. Expand your comfort zone: Our comfort zone is our security zone. To feel secure, many people work very hard to ensure that things do not change in their lives.

Change sometimes means a loss of control; however, expanding your comfort zone does not have to mean losing control. In fact, you are in complete control of how and how far you want to expand your comfort zone.

To get more out of life, you need to expand your comfort zone and embrace change. Because of the experiences you will have, expanding your comfort zone will not only get your mind right, it will help you decrease boredom and pull you out of your rut. All of this goes a long way to feeling happier and more fulfilled.

Expanding your comfort zone takes conscious effort. A good way to start is to start small.

Your mindset…Controls your actions…Your actions define your results…Your results influence your lifestyle

NEXT STEP:  Below tell me at least one step you will take to counteract doubts and develop mental toughness; get your mind right.

Next week I will share with you Six Techniques to Thinking Outside the Box.  Click “Follow” at the top right-hand corner of this post so you do not miss upcoming tips for managing life’s chaos!

Make this your best day,


P.S.  If you found this information helpful, click the link below and share it on Facebook or Twitter.


Angie R. Boecker is a specialist in managing life’s chaos.  She is the author of two books, Effective Grant Writing: Submit a Stronger Application and The Secrets to Thinking on Your Feet and a blog entitled The Travel Element.  As a public speaker, Angie has spoken to audiences on topics that help them manage life’s chaos.